If you've been to one of my workshops or you have met me in person, you know that I talk quite a lot about living a life that is connected to, or preferably empowered by, your cyclic nature. Since I haven't shared much about this online and there's many of you who I haven't met (yet), I thought I'd share here what exactly I mean with 'cyclic living', how I came to this and why I think it's so important that women get to know their 'cyclic nature', as opposed to the linear society that many of us find ourselves in these days. I deeply believe that a women (re)embodying her cyclic nature & womb, a women who starts to live her life connected to her true power, has the ability to heal and balance the world we live in. And with that I want to mention that, for me, this journey is about the rising of the feminine - the feminine energies, in men and in women. I deeply believe that men can be our greatest supporters when it comes to empowerment of women, as long as we involve them in our journey.
A little bit about my story
If you want to read more about my journey and how I came to work with my cycle, you might want to read this article. Here I'll briefly summarize why I am sharing the things I am sharing today, and how I got here. After having used the pill and the IUD for 10+ years, I felt more disconnected from my body then ever. One day I had a vision in which I could see my IUD being removed - so I went to the doctor; she took it out what that was that. But, my blood didn't come back.. for 2,5 years. My body was so increadibly unbalanced because of all the hormones that I had (unconsciously) been putting into it, that I didn't have a period for 2,5 years. That is a looong time and I can hardly describe how it made me feel on the inside to not experience a cycle; I felt disconnected, sad, frustrated and extremely worried of course. So often I would sit on the toilet, wishing that something would come. When it did, 2,5 years later, I cried. I might have danced also, but that was the moment in which I realized that my cycle needed to be on my high priority list, that I wanted and needed to learn more about this amazing body that I was given. Also, being a very sensitive women, I struggle(d) a lot in our linear society. It was easy for me to feel like I couldn't keep up, like I was too sensitive, because I needed so much more time alone and rest then (I thought) other people did. Getting to know my cycle, knowing when I need to rest ánd knowing when I naturally can open up to the world, has helped me so much.
In the years that followed after that moment where my blood came back, I learned a lot about my cycle. Not only about my cycle - maybe even more about my womb. I learned and experienced how my womb had stored traumas from years and lifetimes back, I learned how to feel into them, I experienced release. I started working with the energy of my womb and went on a journey..one where the womb is no longer a place for trauma, grief, rage and fear - but rather one for joy, life-energy and pleasure. I might share more about this one day, but getting to know my womb traumas & menstrual cycle was and is absolutely key and it is something I'm still working on every day.
Getting to know your cycle
Getting to know your cycle starts with realizing that, as a womb carrying being, you go through a cycle every month. A cycle in which every week, every day, every hour, differs. Compare it to the seasons; the year is devided in winter, spring, autumn & summer. Compare it to the phases of the moon; the moon knows a full, a waning, a new and a waxing moon. Our menstrual cycle knows these phases too: our bodies go through menstrual phase (which you can compare to inner winter/new moon phase), a follicular phase (inner spring / waning moon phase), ovulation phase (inner summer / full moon phase) and the luteal phase (inner autumn / waxing moon phase). You can read loads more about this on the internet, but the main thing I want to highlight now is that cyclic is opposed to linear. Having said that you might realize that the society we live in is a linear society, which basically means that it is built on the idea of consistent energy - it is built on the nature of men (who have a linear nature). They go through their cycle within 24 hours every day, which is completely different than a women going through a cycle every month. Both are natural and fine, it just doesn't make sense to try and let a cyclic being fit into the rythm of a linear being.. they're simpy different and so they need different things.
I don't know how to write down in words how increadibly important I think it is for us to really start understanding that we are cyclic beings, even before we can embody it. I also think it's really important that we realize that we do not need to change the outside world in order for us to (re)claim our cyclic nature - we only need to reconnect to it, embody it, and start living from it. To me, that is the answer to changing our society, to rebalance. We don't need to change the world around us, we need to live the change we want to see in the world. We don't need to be angry at men for having a linear nature, we don't need to blame anyone, we just need to embody the change so we no longer have to suppress our nature. Hopefully I can help you taking little steps in doing so.
The power of living in a cyclic body
I think one of the most essential things for us to see is the power of living in a cyclic body. For so many of us, through life, it was normal to be expected to always be productive, to be able to do the same every day. We don't get taught in school (at least I didn't) that, as women, we might not be able to do the same things every day. That we might not have the same level of productivity every day. We might not experience the same physical, mental or social abilities every day. Many of us didn't get taught any of this and we might have experienced something different in our bodies, if we were aware of it, but there literally was no framework to put these experiences in and so we put them aside. It was (at least that's how I experienced it) as if there was no other option for us then to be like this, to be 'like everyone' in society. Of course our parents / caregivers / teachers cannot be blamed for not informing us about other possibilities, as they simply might not have know that there was anything else out there. Living in a linear society for so long has made women supress this inner knowing and their cyclic nature on a very deep level.
When you realize the power of cyclic living, when you fully step into it, your life changes. You get to see the potential of every phase of the cycle. This might not always be productivity, and what you do might not always be visible in the outside world - but each phase is there fór you. Let's start with your ovulation phase (which I'll often refer to as your inner summer), because -for many people- this is the 'easiest' and most preferred phase of the cycle. Just like a lot of people prefer summer over winter, many people also prefer ovulation phase over menstruation phase. Ovulation phase is also the time in which it is easiest for us to be in (a linear) society, because our inner world vibrates with what a linear society is asking from us: in this phase we (might) feel more productive, energetic, outgoing.. we might feel like we are able to be social, to throw a party, to be physically active, to make the deadline, to go out and have fun with the children. These are all just examples and I am fully aware that ovulation phase might not feel like this for everyone, as ovulation can also come with feelings of deep vulnerability. But for me and many others this is the overal feeling of ovulation/summer; we feel more open to life and it is a little bit easier to keep up with the people around us.
Then comes luteal phase (inner autumn) in which we might start to slow down. We might want to finish what we started in spring, we might feel that we need a little more silence, we might start to feel less social, or we might feel like we want to clean the house. This is the time where we can experience many emotions, especially when we tend to cross our boundaries when it comes to taking enough rest. If we haven't been honouring our boundaries in the first few weeks of the month, it will show here. For me personally, this is the time where I can feel my 'no' on a very deep level, it is the time in which it is easiest for me to make decision for myself (so not to please others). This is a phase with so much potential to me; it's where your inner wild women will come out and tell you exactly where you're off track. If you invite her and listen, you might learn a whole lot in this phase. If you try to hold on to being productive, if you tend to people please or overdo it, you might feel the frustration of being out of alignment here. One day I will write an article about the amazing potential of the luteal phase. Again the examples I mentioned above are just examples - maybe autumn is your social time. This is about getting to know your own body and your own cycle, and it will be different for everyone.
After autumn there's winter, which is you menstruation phase. For many women this means that they prefer silence and rest over loudness and productivity, retreat over activity. This is the time where accessing your inner wisdom is easiest. It is the time wherein it is easiest to sink deeply in your own waters. It might be a good time to connect with women, to do a slow ritual with your partner, to create the painting you've been wanting to create.. or just to rest. Whatever feels right to you is the right thing to do. And then after winter comes spring again, forever inviting us to crawl out of our wintercaves and embrace the light once more. If we're aligned and open to receiving, she'll bless us with new inspiration, new ideas, new possibilities. You might plan an adventure here (don't be surprised that, if you plan an adventure in your follicular phase but you only actually gó on the adventure when your luteal phase has arrived, you'll ask yourself why on earth you thought this was a good idea :)), or you might start a collaboration. You might add some new furniture in your house or buy a new bicyle - this is the time where your petals start opening up in order to prepare for full bloom in summer.
Embracing all parts of the cycle
It is so important that we really embrace and experience each phase of the cycle - that we let go of judgement and that we not try to expect something of ourselves that doesn't resonate with a certain phase. You can compare it to a daisy, which opens and closes every day. We do the same, but then a bit slower.. we go through that same process and it takes the whole month. Forcing a flower to open it's petals when it's not ready yet is of absolutely no value. Instead, by trying to force the flower to open up too early you might achieve the opposite; it might close it's petals a little tighter, protecting itself against any force. We work the exact same way as the flowers, as the moon, as the seasons. We cannot force spring to come, when winter isn't over yet. We cannot see a full moon before it has made it's way there, before it has taken every single step in order for it to shine it's light. There wouldn't be a summer without a winter because they're both part of nature, of the cycle of life - just like menstruation and ovulation. You might prefer one season over the other, but in the end you're going to have to live trough all the phases.
Cyclic living is all about embracing each phase, but it might be even more about knowing your strengths in each phase, so you can use them at that time. And with that, you can start planning your month according to your cycle. Trust me that, when you do this, you'll get so much more out of your month. When you know your strenghts in each phase you can use them in order to achieve what you want to achieve, to get what you want out of life. Big decision making might, for example, be easiest for you in summer. Going on a holiday might work best for you in spring. Finishing projects might work best in autumn, and you might be able to sink into meditation much deeper in winter (menstruation). Using your cycle as a compass, letting her help and guide you through life, is increadibly powerful.
Imagine you having a job interview when you're in your last days of autumn. You might feel like your attention is turning inwards, you might feel all of/some of the autumn feels, you might feel vulnerable or like like you want to cut down on social activities a little - all of this because your body has naturally started to prepare itself for the bleeding period. Having an job interview, or organising a party for your 4 year old, running a marathon or going on your first date, might not be what serves you most in these days. It might not be what serves you most and you might not be using the power of that phase in a way that is actually helping you. Working with your cycle here could for example look like you resceduling any of these appointments to two weeks later (so around ovulation), and if not possible (because we can't always plan everything the way we would like to), it might look like you asking another mom to help you out at the party. If you can rescedule your appointment, you might use your precious autumn energy to get groceries in and prepare some meals for your bleeding time. It might look like you finishing your project, doing some slow yoga, going for an extra long walk or calling a dear friend - you might choose something that's a little less 'out there', something that maybe even nourishes you. On the other hand, if you have planned days of silent and 'alone time' in your follicular (spring) phase, you might feel like that's not what you need at that moment. You might feel like you have the ability to start a new project, to meet with friends, to organise a last-minute holiday.
Working with your cycle means getting to know each phase of the cycle and getting to know yourself in each phase. How do you react to the outer world, what are your needs, what do you thrive at? How can you support yourself to get even more out of thise phase? (Where) are you still asking more of yourself than needed, or which expectations do you put on yourself, that you might need to let go of? There are many questions to work with in order to start embracing yourself in each and every moment of the month. For me cycle tracking has been huge. Every evening before I went to bed I write down how I've been feeling that day. I write down my energy levels, my appetite and cravings (these change so much during the month!), my mental state, my libido, the state of my nervous system. Of course all of these things can be influenced by circumstances and activities, but if you keep doing this for a few months you'll start to see a pattern - one that you can start working with. Below I've included a picture of the cycle trackers I designed in order to help you start your journey here. There's one to get you started writing down how you feel each week, and there's one that invites you to write every day. Both are available online or as a print. I hope this article could support you somehow and I would feel so honoured to inspire you to start working with your cycle in a positive and empowering way ♡.
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